Inexplicable..

wakes up half asleep and groggy
hasnt happened in quite a while
tense
heart pounding
inexplicable...

reminiscing
thinking about the future
feeling fear
and insecure
restless
inexplicable...

tries sleeping
cant get proper sleep
music playing
ah peace
inexplicable...

finds an old friend
happy
talks
ambivalent
talks more
pensive
cant stop talking
absolute sadness
inexplicable...

more music
this time melancholy
distressed
restless
pacing back and forth
inexplicable...

strips down
runs
showers
head first
another first time
hot water
sullen
loud melancholy music
depressed
inexplicable...

sits
hot water rushing
palms over face
covering eyes
trying to cry
no tears
inexplicable...

water stops
skin is dry
runs back to the den
wrapped in cotton
picks the phone
tries to call
fingers dont move
inexplicable...

lies down
flat on the back
it hurts
no cry in agony
clasps fists
bangs head
inexplicable

heart pounds
feels rushing blood
all to the head
closes eyes
ponders why
no answer
inexplicable...