The Ordeal Begins

Finally after much soul searching and brooding, I've decided to join a Gym. Not only that I spent a good 200 bucks which included entry fee, 2 months fees, and 3 sessions with a personal trainer. Felt too lazy and chickened out in going to the gym on the first day, but today I thought since I've paid for it might as well give it a shot. So I went.

The trainer was a guy of Indian origin. Half-Indian Half-American. The ones famous by ABCD - American Born Confused Desis. Anyways, he pushed me a lot. Made me do lots of stomach crunches, chest exercises, push ups, and at the end of the 30 minute workout I was famished.

It was complicated by the fact that I had drunk only 1/2 glasses of water today. So that made me dehydrated very very fast. After the workout, I drank water water like a fish out of water. And the nuts I had eaten before the workout coupled with lack of water and the strenuous workout, made me nauseous and I threw up.

But surprisingly, I felt much better after that. The drive back home seemed the longest 7 minute drive ever. I was dying to just fall down and collapse on the bed. And thats just what I did the minute I came home. And now a good 4 hours later, I'm lying in my bed with every muscle in my arm aching.

But I'm feeling rather good. :-) Hope the gym routine continues.

Incommunicado...

Two main reasons for being so...

1. Had no internet connection at home
2. Had no PC in office.

Meanwhile, my family was faced with a tragedy. My paternal grand mother (young lady of 76 years) passed away last Monday. May her soul rest in peace.

Unbeliveable....

Check out this video from YouTube. I cant imagine a young boy singing in such a manner. The pitch at which this guy is singing is amazing. Couple that with the harsh heavy German pronunciation and you get this amazing rendition.

Just for your information. This composition is by the genius Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. Its called Zauberflöte (translated as magical flutes).





Here's the German lyrics to the song (if I could call that). :-)

Der Hölle Rache kocht in meinem Herzen,
Tot und Verzweiflung
Tot und Verzweiflung flammet um mich her!
Fühlt nicht durch dich
Sarastro Todesschmerzen,(2)

So bist du meine Tochter nimmermehr
So bist du mein
meine Tochter nimmermehr

(High pitch singing)
meine Tochter nimmermehr
(High pitch singing)
So bist du meine Tochter nimmermehr

(piano plays)

Verstoßen sei auf ewig,
Verlassen sei auf ewig,
Zertrümmert sei'n auf ewig
Alle Bande der Natur

Verstoßen
Verlassen
und Zertrümmert
Alle Bande der Natur

Alle
(high pitch singing)
Alle Bande der Natur

Wenn nicht durch dich
Sarastro wird erblassen!
Hört, Hört, Hört, Rachegötter,
Hoert der Mutter Schwur!

And now the english translation...

The Vengence of Hell boils in my heart,
Death and despair flames about me!
(I swear) If, through you, Sarastro does not feel
The pain of death,
Then you will be my daughter nevermore.

Disowned may you be forever,
Abandoned may you be forever,
(May it be) Destroyed forever
All the bonds of nature,
(I swear - the above) If, through you,
Sarastro does not turn pale!

Hear, Hear, Hear Gods of Vengence,
Hear a mother's curse!

Okay, I think after all this, you deserve to know whats happening here. The main protagonist of the story is Sarastro. The villain of the story is the night queen (who's actually singing the above "song"). The queen has cast a spell around her daughter and Sarastro actually frees her from it.

Having read the Wikipedia link for this opera, I'm very much tempted to see this opera.

I seriously regret missing out on watching an opera when I was in Vienna in 2001 and again when I was in Germany in 2002 and 2003. The "song" has "transported" me back to that "era" of my life when I used to listen to a lot of western classical music. I still do, but maybe not as much as I used to.

Is history repeating itself?

Dedicated to Dearest Sister

(Some contents of this post are "lifted" from another post, but I've added some more stuff)

She's adorable,
She's sweet,
She's talkative,
but sometimes discreet.

The darling of our family,
who got married recently,
Mom and Dad, me and brother,
have always wished this for her,
May you live a long lovely life,
rid of any trouble or strife.

(Yes I can be good with words sometimes!) :-))

Its been 2 months and 2 weeks now since my sister got married and it seems like it was just yesterday. Time flies so fast! I spoke to her yesterday after a very long gap (3 weeks) (why the gap?? just being a lazy bum - sometimes feel like kicking myself) and it felt like the days of yore. Our typical conversation starts off with the customary - "Hi-How-are-you" and then moves on immediately to "bitching about relatives". :-))) Sis! I love you for this dear! Muuuah.

I felt very refreshed after speaking to her and her hubby. He's a doctor in Bombay Hospital.

I still remember the first time my sister broke the news about her boyfriend, there was pandemonium at home because he's a Jain. I got a call from dad on my cell bang in the afternoon here in the US (pretty late in the night in India) and I was shocked. Normally, he never calls me, always I call him. This time it was different. Dad said something extremely urgent has surfaced and I should call back immediately.

Whenever I get such a call, I get very tense. So, I moved out of my desk and immediately called back home. Dad picked up and I could hear in the background my mom shouting at my sis and my sis sobbing. Dad told me about what my sister had told them. To be honest, I suspected that something was going on and I even asked her one day whether she's got any boyfriend, but she denied it at that time.

There was also this incident one day when she called me and said that she would be coming late home and her friend would be dropping her also she said that I should stay awake and meet the person. That night, I was very tired and I went to sleep and couldnt meet her friend. (Later I came to know that the person who dropped her that day was her boyfriend)

Anyways, so I spoke to my sis and I said that I was disappointed in her. My reasoning was simple, I wanted her to make a very good career. I always knew she had the potential. She's tremendously capable and could have gone places and once she's SOMEBODY, then she can start looking. I told her that I'm not at all against she choosing her life partner and I don't care about his religion, I'm only against her because I thought the time was not right for her.

All said and done, I think that - she breaking the news about her affair at home - was really a courageous move and I admire her for that. Now began a long and arduous process of bringing the families together. Once mom and dad were convinced that my sister and her boyfriend were serious about going all the way, they settled down a bit and came to accept it. It didnt take long for them.

At the other end (the boy's side) things were much different. Although the boy's mom approved of the alliance, the father was dead against it. The reason - the girl's not a Jain. The boy then arranged a meeting between dad and a trusted friend of his dad, who eventually convinced the boy's dad and finally he relented.

Right through all this, my sister showed amazing resilience. She's gone through lots and faced lots of hardships in her very small life till now. There was a point in time when a very serious altercation had happened between me and her. I'd stopped talking to her. I didn't speak to her for 3 days - not even glanced at her. She was crying endlessly. And finally at mom's insistence, I relented and started talking to her. Now, looking back I think I was acting rather immature...I was about 16-17 then and had gotten carried away.

Although the incident was over, the bitterness remained for quite sometime. It was not until much later that I had become very good friends with her. I used to advise her on her career and her job. She gave GRE and I dropped her off at Prometric at Andheri and waited for her for 3 hours outside (bunking my job) till she came out. When she went to collect the appointment letter of her first job, I'd taken her to the place and was waiting downstairs anxiously for her to come down and update me about her appointment. And when she was quitting, I even advised her about how to draft her resignation letter. After-all what are elder brothers for! :-)

The earliest memory I have of her is when I was about 09-10 and she was 4-5, somebody in my school bus had threatened me and I was crying. My sister she saw this and hit that guy hard with her chappals and dragged me away from him and brought me home. I remember this only vaguely but my mom remembers it very properly and still recounts it to me whenever my sister and I have a fight or sometimes even whenever we are together.

Its been 2 months and 2 weeks now since my sister got married and I cant believe that she's become so old that she's gotten married. Her hubby's a very very nice guy. He cares about her a lot and likes her a lot. She's also a very strong woman and during her marriage, she didnt shed a single tear. (Neither did my mom for that matter!!) Brave ladies both of them.

During her short "high-flying" career (high-flying because she used to travel across India a lot for executing her job) she adjusted herself quickly to the corporate world. Now, after marriage, with equal ease, she's adapted herself to the family life. Truly an amazing transformation!

Nonetheless, I do sincerely hope (and pray) she comes out the hiatus soon and start working again because I think she's wasting her potential. Sis, if you're reading this its my plea - "Start working again soon!"

Love you!

Inexplicable..

wakes up half asleep and groggy
hasnt happened in quite a while
tense
heart pounding
inexplicable...

reminiscing
thinking about the future
feeling fear
and insecure
restless
inexplicable...

tries sleeping
cant get proper sleep
music playing
ah peace
inexplicable...

finds an old friend
happy
talks
ambivalent
talks more
pensive
cant stop talking
absolute sadness
inexplicable...

more music
this time melancholy
distressed
restless
pacing back and forth
inexplicable...

strips down
runs
showers
head first
another first time
hot water
sullen
loud melancholy music
depressed
inexplicable...

sits
hot water rushing
palms over face
covering eyes
trying to cry
no tears
inexplicable...

water stops
skin is dry
runs back to the den
wrapped in cotton
picks the phone
tries to call
fingers dont move
inexplicable...

lies down
flat on the back
it hurts
no cry in agony
clasps fists
bangs head
inexplicable

heart pounds
feels rushing blood
all to the head
closes eyes
ponders why
no answer
inexplicable...