Googol Dollar Question

Well, I had intended to post about something else, but I think the time not yet ripe for that one. I'll let that thought mature and take shape while I go ahead and quite literally "pen my thoughts"

My typical style of blogging is as if I am talking to myself. Its sort of an introspection of events that are happening around me of which I am a part of. My actions, my words, my deeds and everything that concerns..well ME! No, I am not a narcissist. The best way I can describe this approach is to understand myself better. And MAYBE to a certain extent self improvement.

Ah! There you go, my train of thought changes tracks again! But I think I'll continue on this one and come back to the 2nd one later.

Well, life is all about making decisions, some are tough, some are easy. Sometimes I do dwell on why I do act in a certain way. A simple case being, today when I spoke to my roommate.

This guy is my colleague of 5 years. I admire him for his work, and I am very good friends with him. He has a laptop but the internet does not work on his machine. So, he was using one of the company provided laptops. Now this is a very trivial thing. But, out of the blue I told him that he will have to give up the laptop since it might go to my boss who's gonna come in Saturday.

He said its okay and continued working. This somehow made me repeat the statement and my friend, he retorted back - "Haan pata hai" - in a manner that was a bit disdainful. Now the googol dollar question is what made me repeat my statement. Actually, my made-up answer to him was "I actually told you so that you can remove your personal data from that." But, thats my console-myself-at-making-an-error kind of statement.

Did I make the 2nd statement because I had this sudden rush of anger of him using the laptop? Now, why would I get that? And that is what I am not able to understand. Its strange isnt it, me not being able to understand myself?

I'm still pondering....on...and on....and on....and on....