Granny in my dreams

Last night I got a very very wierd dream. Maybe its a culmination of this regret which I have deep down about not being there with granny when she breathed her last. I remembered the dream perfectly when I woke up in the morning. In fact, it was the dream that woke me up from my deep slumber. Now, I don't remember the dream all that well, but still I'll try my best to describe it here.

Just to give a background, my paternal grand-mother (click here for more details) died a year-and-a-half or so back. If I'm not wrong, I think the date was 18th April 2007. During that time, I was in the US and I really really REALLY felt bad about not being here to see her one last time.

Anyways, back to the dream...

Apparently, I was travelling from somewhere and coming back home and was sitting at my seat. I think it was a flight and I saw this lady looking exactly like my granny. Broad forehead, greyish black hair braided and neatly combed back with a middle parting. Wrinkles around the neck, but the face surprisingly devoid of any wrinkles. A couple of gold jewelery around her neck one having a couple of tiger nails. Wearing big round glasses. I also noticed that she was dressed EXACTLY like my granny. She was wearing a dark blue blouse and a blue floral night-gown with a round lacy neck.

At first I was completely flummoxed thinking how can it be. I was scared. Terrified to be precise. I kept looking at her and she kept looking back at me. Smiling almost exactly like the way my granny did. With each glance, my fear compounded. With each smile I started getting restless. It was as if she knew me always. It was as if she was beckoning me to come over towards her and talk to her. I was trembling.

I mustered some courage and then started to walk towards her. She was still smiling, looking at me with un-wavering gaze. Each step I took towards her, her smile grew wider and wider. I extended my hand to touch her and suddenly, I saw that the flight cracked open, exactly at the place where she was seated. I saw the lady clinging on to the edge of the crack, screaming and shouting loudly.

I bent down, outstretched my hand, shouted at the top of my voice and told her to make an effort to catch my hand. She tried to reach out and catch my hand. Suddenly in the process, she lost her grip and started to fall down. I screamed at the top of lungs, calling out to granny, but she just was looking at me and although she was falling, her smile never stopped.

I turned around unable to see or comprehend what was happening, or why it was happening. I knelt down banged my head on the floor, covered my face with my hands and just could not stop crying. No...not crying...I was wailing. I was totally devastated. I was inconsolable.

And suddenly, I just woke up. I was sweating profusely. Slowly, I raised my hand and felt my eyes. I had expected them to be damp, but they were absolutely dry. I could hear my heart pounding like a bullet train. Slowly I woke up sat down at the edge of my bed, gathered my thoughts, took a deep breath and started walking towards the wash-basin to start off my daily chores.