Emotionally Drained

The past whole week so so so very hectic that its left me energy sapped. Feel like I should just "chuck" everything and just sleep and sleep and sleep. It started off with Monday being a killer. Despite having taken substantial efforts to overcome all obstacles at work, what do I get? Just complaints that I'm not doing enough. Not just that, my manager gave me the impression that he does not have faith in me. One bold thing I did when this happened is that I told him that he can have me replaced if required.

Just to prove to him that I am slogging my ASS off here, I worked continuously from Monday 08:30 am - all through Tuesday - and continued until Wednesday morning 02:30 am. Thats more than 40 hours of work almost at a stretch. The thought then crossed myself, why should I prove to him that I work when I am clear in my conscience.

Middle of the week came a pleasant surprise, when I was given a bonus as an appreciation of my work in this project. Now I didnt see that coming and certainly didnt expect it, especially in the wake of what had happened in the earlier part of the week.

Soon it was Friday and I had to rush off to meet a very very good friend in the west coast of US. I had been looking forward to this ever since I'd come into the US. The trip started off well but as things progressed, everything wasnt what you'd call Hunky-Dory.

"Familiarity breeds contempt" is an old saying and it seemed to have come true during my trip. I would put the blame squarely on my shoulders. I should have behaved a bit more mature and not being childish, complaining about each and every small thing. And all this I did without realizing that I was actually commiting harakiri.

One thing which I did throughout the trip for which I really hate myself is wasting a Humungous amount of food. The reason, wasnt suited to my taste. The last day too, instead of staying within my limits and without knowing how big it would be, I ordered a Chicago deep dish pizza and ended up wasting 3 whole slices.

My mom would have murdered me had she been there with me. This was a totally unknowing mistake. I must say that I made a "superhuman" effort to finish off the other almost 4-5 (whatever) slices, but then after that I just gave up.

The problem with me is that in an effort to be a perfectionist and pleasing each and every one, I (many-a-times) end absolutely "screwing up". The trip back from the west coast was hectic too, in the sense that I had lotsa time and nothing to do which made me all the more frustrated.

Anyways, its the dawn of a new week and I really hope this week, I am much more relaxed. Adios!