Friendship's come a full Circle.

Its interesting how life brings you around in a complete circle. You start off being the thickest of friends. Almost inseparable. Start sharing the deepest, darkest secrets, petty joys and sorrows, cries of anguish and ecstacy. You grow together - sometimes remembering - sometimes forgetting each other's birthdays.

You undertake your first stint at driving in your friends' car. Accompany each other for new year parties. Talk at lengths about the occult, mysteries of the world, rock music. Watch movies together, hang out and get to know each others' friends. Exchange gifts at house warming ceremonies, interact with each others' family. Accompany one on his first trip out of India.

All this and you might have thought - OH WOW, SUCH GREAT FRIENDS. But WAIT, there's a twist to it. You suddenly fall out of contact. Stop answering emails. Dont pick-up phone calls. Dont reply back to messages. And suddenly, you are transformed into two aliens, who once used to know each other. Its like one moment being the dearest of friends and the next moment (read 6 years hence) living absolutely like strangers who dont know and care about each other.

No..no..no. Life doesn't end there. It moves on! Only, you don't know where its leading. And then out of nowhere, a sudden twist of fate again. You suddenly come in contact with this same person, whom you'd known earlier. With whom you'd fallen out of contact and who you'd thought, you would never ever meet or remember again.

You end up talking for 30 minutes and appraise each other about all that has happened in the last 2-odd years of not being in contact. And it feels as if you were always in contact and never out of touch. Being out of touch puts you in a kind of a time-warp and when you feel that time has stood still when it comes to that particular person, until you come in contact with each other once again.

And when that happens, you, instead of hurling abuses at each other about the lack of contact, somehow learn to appreciate the fact that each one's pre-occupied with his/her own journey of life. And that your paths cross each other's for a brief period during which you experience great friendship and then the paths move on. Now, your paths might cross again or never again, or on the other hand your paths might always cris-cross regularly, whatever be the case its important for you to cherish and enjoy the experiences.

Yeah I know, great philosophical BULLS***, but its an honest opinion, confession, experience - call it what you want. This is exactly what I experienced yesterday when I came in contact with a very chum friend of mine.

And trust me, the feeling's great and I'm just basking and revelling in the sunlight of our rekindled friendship, for I dont know how long will this sunshine last. Might as well enjoy every moment of it while it lasts!!!

Emotionally Drained

The past whole week so so so very hectic that its left me energy sapped. Feel like I should just "chuck" everything and just sleep and sleep and sleep. It started off with Monday being a killer. Despite having taken substantial efforts to overcome all obstacles at work, what do I get? Just complaints that I'm not doing enough. Not just that, my manager gave me the impression that he does not have faith in me. One bold thing I did when this happened is that I told him that he can have me replaced if required.

Just to prove to him that I am slogging my ASS off here, I worked continuously from Monday 08:30 am - all through Tuesday - and continued until Wednesday morning 02:30 am. Thats more than 40 hours of work almost at a stretch. The thought then crossed myself, why should I prove to him that I work when I am clear in my conscience.

Middle of the week came a pleasant surprise, when I was given a bonus as an appreciation of my work in this project. Now I didnt see that coming and certainly didnt expect it, especially in the wake of what had happened in the earlier part of the week.

Soon it was Friday and I had to rush off to meet a very very good friend in the west coast of US. I had been looking forward to this ever since I'd come into the US. The trip started off well but as things progressed, everything wasnt what you'd call Hunky-Dory.

"Familiarity breeds contempt" is an old saying and it seemed to have come true during my trip. I would put the blame squarely on my shoulders. I should have behaved a bit more mature and not being childish, complaining about each and every small thing. And all this I did without realizing that I was actually commiting harakiri.

One thing which I did throughout the trip for which I really hate myself is wasting a Humungous amount of food. The reason, wasnt suited to my taste. The last day too, instead of staying within my limits and without knowing how big it would be, I ordered a Chicago deep dish pizza and ended up wasting 3 whole slices.

My mom would have murdered me had she been there with me. This was a totally unknowing mistake. I must say that I made a "superhuman" effort to finish off the other almost 4-5 (whatever) slices, but then after that I just gave up.

The problem with me is that in an effort to be a perfectionist and pleasing each and every one, I (many-a-times) end absolutely "screwing up". The trip back from the west coast was hectic too, in the sense that I had lotsa time and nothing to do which made me all the more frustrated.

Anyways, its the dawn of a new week and I really hope this week, I am much more relaxed. Adios!

Reunion with old friends

This extended looong weekend was absolutely amazing and there's only one reason for it. Reunion with old friends. Just didnt realize how quickly time flew. The 3 days seemed more like 3 hours. We've been friends since the second year of engineering i.e. since 1996. That makes it 10 years of unbroken friendship. And the 10-man team is still going strong.

The team's largely separated now by geographical distances but the will to bind with each other is extremely strong amongst all of us. Right now, there are 5 of us in the USA, 2 in Dallas, 1 in Charlotte, 1 near Chicago and 1 (that's me) in Florida and the 4 of us met in Disneyland in Florida.

Most of the daytime during the last 3 days was spent either driving or walking in Disneyland. The nights were reserved for special group talks, with a bottle of beer or smirnoff or any other form of alcohol. The DP as we like to call it, is something absolutely special and I look forward to it each time we meet.

Its a "reveal-it-all-no-holes-barred" forum where each one blurts his heart out, opening a Pandora's box and unearthing the deepest, darkest secrets and everyone listens intently and at times shockingly to the revelations. This time too we had such a thing. And if you're thinking this post is about to reveal-all, think again.

The post is about a feeling of emptiness, a feeling of void, a feeling of loneliness, a feeling to reach out to friends, a feeling to re-live the moments shared. Right now I'm feeling just like when you get a hang-over after a wild drunk night.

Although I was at the receiving end of all the jokes cracked during the trip, I enjoyed each and every moment and now when our short reunion is over, I'm missing the jokes, I'm missing the DP, I'm missing the senti-talks. To put it simply, I'm missing my friends. I really am!

Maybe its the infrequent happenings of such events that make me look forward to such reunions. No maybe not, because I'm pretty sure if such reunions were to happen regularly, I'd still enjoy it as much as I did during the 3 days. But, given the practical constraints such regular reunions will remain just a desire.

At the end of it all the bottom-line is that I love my friends a lot. I miss them desperately and absolutely cant live without them. Love you guys! Thanks for staying with me and supporting me always!